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I have finally succumbed to something that I swore I would not do. No, I haven’t picked up smoking or re-opened my Facebook account, but instead I have finished the first book in the 50 Shades trilogy (50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker, and 50 Shades Freed). Yes, I have read 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James. I had to. I was being bombarded with the book everywhere I went: I watched people (or … women) pull the book out of their bags on the bus – and now that I have read the book … gross!; even my aunt has asked me if I have read the book. I didn’t read it for the “steamy sex scenes”, I just had to see what all the fuss was about. My take, I can only read so much “… I can’t touch him … holy shit … I better not roll my eyes … I’m biting my bottom lip …” before I get a bit bored. (For those of you who have read the book, you know what I’m talking about.) It was an ok, extremely repetitive read.

Note: to the women who read this on the bus/at work/hair salon/anywhere outside of their home, that is plain nasty as you know you are getting all “hot and bothered”! Yuck! And if you have rented the book from the library, you don’t know what kinds of “happy hands” have been all over that book. See what I did was reserve an e-copy from the online library catalogue, that way no one knew I was reading it and the copy was completely sanitary. I’m just saying.

I see why some call it “mommy porn” or “women’s porn” as the sex was overtly steamy and it is easier to read porn than to watch it (so I hear). Women don’t need to see the physical to know it’s good. Also, there is the building of Ana and Christian’s relationship, or lack thereof. I also see why some compare it to Twilight’s Bella and Edward. As a closet Twi-hard, I saw the Twilight dilemma written all over 50 Shades. It’s almost if Bella and Edward grew up – or added on a few years, they would be Ana and Christian. Extremely rich guy who has commitment and control issues; girl who wants MORE from their relationship. The plot is not very original, as I have read in another novel about the guy wanting an ex (and her current fling) to join him in his “red room of pain”. (I have the book on my Kobo, but the title escapes me.)

One great thing that is coming out of the 50 Shades trilogy is the music described in the scenes. This CD of the classic titles mentioned will soon be available for purchase. I for one will be buying that as I love me some classical music. When Ms. James mentioned Thomas Tallis, I immediately knew the name from the Tudors (a historical drama about King Henry VIII … I highly recommend) series that I watched on CBC, and subsequently purchased for my own collection.

Back to 50 Shades: So a CD is on the way. I also hear talks of a movie? Is this really necessary? Can they even show this much “mommy porn” on the big screen? And what does the Adult Industry think of this, as their films have their own “special” theatres for a reason. I’m no investigative journalist (perhaps a Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition is required; again, another reference from the book) but I would be interested to hear their thoughts on this subject.

My bottom line: I will be reading the 50 Shades trilogy just for the fact that I am curious how the characters will resolve their situations: will Christian finally let Ana touch him? Will Kate and Elliot get married? Will Jose’s photography pay off? How is Ana’s internship at SIP? How much was the cheque for Ana’s VW? Where does Taylor just appear from and what has he been hearing? What was Christian’s big situation he had to rush back from Georgia for? I have all sorts of unanswered questions

I’ve posted a hilarious link to Ellen Degeneres attempting to read 50 Shades.

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